Aku pilih this topic as my first issue to deal with/ highlight: Sumpah, aku insecure dengan banyak gila benda but aku tak tahu if people can see through me pasal benda ni. There's a lot. My main issue is my body. I really hate my body. But not at any point that I'll put knife or any marks on it...
I hate how my body works. I have bad stomach. It's either constipation or diarrhea. Both are bad LOL aku tak boleh control my body. Penat. Sebab kau tak boleh function normally. I wonder how people managed to popo everyday. It's a little blessing la aku rasa. Earliest aku boleh ingat aku start bad stomach since aku umur 14 tahun. And aku 28 tahun this year....... Maybe one day aku akan pergi checkup, harap bukan cancer or anything worse la..
Oh ya, another thing aku rasa aku tak prefer orang sentuh badan aku. Rasa tak selesa langsung. Sebab aku tak suka body shape aku LOL nak exercise malas sebabtu badan straight full of cellulites. Anyways aku start belajar peluk anak buah to show that I love them. I hate hugs. My 5years old ex-boyfriend dulu jenis suka hug and I'm not. Fuck it was really hard to compromise sebab badan aku memang tak selesa. But guess what, I learnt that my body boleh je hug manusia. But I can't choose dengan siapa body aku selesa... I was more that ready to give out hugs to my last partner. Too bad masa kitorang terlalu singkat. Haih good times :')
Face area: I hate my nose, lips, eyebrows and my eyes the most. My nose boleh dikira standard melayu totok la hidung besar haha. Okay lips pulak takde shape????????????? Kalau senyum pun memang nampak fake gila..... Maybe that's the main reason aku tangkap gambar tak reti nak senyum. Eyebrows tebal and takde shape. So jadi bentuk muka kasar. Mata sebab nampak kecik nak mampus specs mata tebal. And obvious aku nampak juling kalau tak pakai specs....... Hmm
Another thing, aku rasa telinga aku sensitive je dengar apa orang cakap but aku selalu minta orang repeat balik sebab aku tak focus..... and nak confirm kan apa yang aku rasa aku dengar dioarang cakap LOL idk if people ingat aku pekak ke apa........... ;-;
There's more but aku tak tahu nak tulis apa lagi haha coz I hate everything bout myself.
Self-acceptance.
28 tahun in this body. And I'll always be me,
